Thursday, January 28, 2010

Met with the domestic adoption agency today

Today we drove 3 hours round trip to meet with the International adoption agency. Within 10 minutes I was told we don't qualify for the Korea program which I had my heart set on. I'm just so disappointed right now. They told us the only programs we qualify for are Ethiopia, Russia, and Republic of Georgia. I hate to say it, but I don't really have any interest in adopting from those countries.We were looking into Korea or China, but do to a medical condition, we don't qualify.  It just broke my heart  :-(

Now we have a meeting with the domestic adoption agency scheduled for 2/19. I am very interested in talking to them, though I do have some concerns about adopting from the US. I am concerned that the birth mom may change her mind and decide to parent the child them self. On one hand I would rather see a parent raise their own child if they can, but I would be heartbroken to get my hopes up to adopt a child and then have the birth mom decide to parent and we have put all our heart and energy into preparing for that child only to end up heartbroken.

I was watching Mercy last night and a situation similar to that happened. My mom had a good friend who adopted a child and 6 months later the birth mom decided she wanted to parent and they had to give the child back. They were completely heartbroken.

Well now we just wait to talk to the domestic adoption agency and see what they have to say. Everything happens for a reason, sometimes it's just hard to understand that reason while you are going through it.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I need to get going with all this, things have been so busy....

Still working on contacting agencies. I have numbers, but haven't had the time to call yet. I really need to get on that this week. I've also re-joined WW and am in my third week. I've lost a total of 7 pds so far. I'm still messing up and eating things I shouldn't, but am working on sticking with eating better. I've been working out some as well, which has been good. I figure if I'm not able to have a child right now while I'm going through this whole adoption thing i'm going to work on losing weight and getting myself back into shape. I need to do this for myself and my health.

I have part of Thursday off so I guess I'll have to do some of my calls then. I don't want to call from work and I don't get much of a lunch break so even if I go to my car and call on my cell I wouldn't have enough time to really talk to them. Some agencies you can go on there website and get information, but I am thinking it would be better to call them in person, talk to them, and then have them mail me the information.

I'm also going to order some adoption books online to read hopefully that will help me through this whole process a little as well.

The whole thing is just so overwhelming and so confusing....dh is in it with me which is wonderful. I feel good knowing that he is up for this whole thing as well, and he is very open to adopting any child, so that comforts me as well :-)

I'll post as soon as I get the ball rolling with this whole thing. Any thoughts and prayers would be appreciated! THANK YOU!!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Well Thursday will be spent contacting adoption agencies...

Called the Social Security office as a co-worker had adopted her two kids through them but from a different county. They told me all the did was fostering and most of it was short term, if I wanted to go the adoption route I would have to call an adoption agency :-(

They did give me about 3 names and numbers for local agencies to call. I have been trying to do research online for them, and then will call Thursday and see if they can send me some information. I'm just hoping some of them are reasonable in price. I have seen adoptions fee's go so high.

There is just so much information out there, it's overwhelming. We just finally got done paying all our medical bills from my surgery and the 6 IUI's we did. We wanted that to be behind us before moving on to the next step.

Oh and yet ANOTHER co-worker is pregnant. I'm so happy for her, but so sad for us (I know that sounds selfish, but I so want a child) I just hope this adoption thing works out so our dreams of raising a child can come true :-)

Friday, September 11, 2009

Moving on to something new :-)

Well it's been almost a month since my last post. We didn't have our luck with trying ourselves, we didn't have luck with fertility treatments so now we are looking towards adoption. And you know what? I'm actually looking pretty forward to it. I always told dh that even if we did have a child on our own, I would still love to adopt one day. Maybe this is just what God is meaning for us to do at this moment in our lives.

I have been doing some research online and am lucky enough that the new Dr. we hired at my work adopted two children from social services which is where we are going to try, so I know if I some questions I have some people to go to.

If anyone has any recommendations on books, websites, etc. or just any advice you can give me it would be really appreciated. I am hoping to talk to someone at social services dept next week to figure out what we need to do to get the ball rolling.

I know it can take a few years to get everything said and done, I just want to be as informed as I can about everything.

I just feel like we are finally going in the right direction again and I am really excited. There is nothing more I want then to have a Happy Family with my dh, our three furkids and a child to take care of. Life would be good!!!

Feel free to email me if you ever need to as well I'll put it up on my blog.

Happy Thoughts of Wonderful Things to Come :-)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Our last IUI failed...

Our sixth and last IUI failed. I am surprised with how well I am dealing with it. I figured since it was our last I would be really upset if it didn't work, but suprisingly i'm doing okay. I don't know if it's completely set it yet, i'm not sure, but I found out Wed night that it didn't work. We are not going to do IVF, atleast not in the near future. I can't afford the 15 grand a cycle to do it and we are not in debt now and I don't want to start parenthood in debt either. I think we may save up and go the adoption route. It may take a few years to save up for it, but we may do that.

Right now (I hope this doesn't sound selfish) I am going to focus on me some. Being on these fertility med's has messed me up some. I have gained a lot of weight I need to lose at least 40 pounds. I have been off differin for this whole ttc process so I would like to start using that on my skin as well. I have a dermatologist appt on 9/3 to discuss some stuff with them and get me back on some things I haven't been using. I am going to join WW in a few weeks (as soon as my nephews are gone) I am really going to focus on making myself lose weight. I have felt fat and ugly lately and I need to get back into feeling like myself and feeling good and healthy again. I have been getting no sleep b/c I have sleep issues and haven't been able to take my ambien while ttc so I took it tonight and am taking it for awhile till I can actually start to get some good nights rest for once. I have been so tired lately it's been unbelievable. I also haven't been happy at my job lately, but have been staying there hoping I would get pregnant and then leave as I want to be a SAHM. Well since that's not going to happen anytime soon, I'm going to try to find a new job that I will enjoy. I know the economy isn't great right now, but there are certain things at my current job I'm dealing with that are just un-necessary.

Okay that turned into way to much about me. lol! I just think after focusing on ttc so much the past few years, being physically and emotionally stressed and tired it will be nice to take a break, relax some, and focus on me and my wonderful dh who I love so much!!!

It is depressing though how 7 months, six IUI's, 1 surgery and 6 grand or so later we have nothing to show for it :-( My mom says that maybe God has another plan for us, but I'm really not sure what that will be. I just can't imagine going through life and not being able to raise a child with my husband. We will be great parents and it's an experience I really want to be able to have one day.

Well off to ambien land right now I can tell my thoughts are getting jumbled. Thanks for listening to me ramble on........

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Update

So I haven't posted in awhile. Things have been really busy here. My nephews are staying with us for almost a month and we had our last IUI the day after they arrived. The end of my tww is Friday! I'm nervous about the outcome as this will be our last IUI. We won't be continuing with fertility treatments after this. We have done 6 IUI's and my lap surgery this year and I am tired physically and emotionally. I just can't do it anymore. I pray to God that this one will work.

I haven't been really having any symptoms. I'm exhausted, but that's normal. I'm so glad my nephews have been here as it's making the tww a lot easier for me. I'm not dwelling and obsessing about it as much. lol!

I'll keep everyone updated either way. I have just been meaning to post and it's been getting put back on my list of stuff to do. Wish us luck! I know it's going to be so hard if it doesn't take this month, but if it does we will seriously feel blessed!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Don't know what I want to do right now....

We just had another failed cycle, they thought this one looked really promising, but I guess not :-(

I am torn b/t trying again, I said I would do 6 IUI's and that's it, if we did one more it would be #6 or if we should just start looking into adoption. I just want a child. I know what great parents we would be and it obviously isn't working out for us another way and if we hadn't been trying off and on for 8 years I would say give it more time, but I think it's been long enough.

I guess I'll start looking online for information on adoption. If anyone has any websites that would be helpful I would appreciate the information. I am going to think this weekend whether or not I really want to do another IUI cycle. This is just really hard to go through emotionally and physically and I don't know how much more I can take right now.

I may post more later, right now I am kinda numb and I just found out this morning so I am still taking it all in....